When I didn’t land the job
I really liked my interview outfit!
I’m not gonna lie — freelancing is tough and I am still not 100% sure it’s for me. Granted, I haven’t spent too much time pitching stories but when I do try, it feels like I’m wasting my time. I could spend several hours working on the perfect pitch to send to an editor, just to never get a response. Or even if they do accept my pitch, most publications pay very little for freelance stories.
That’s why I’ve still been applying for full-time journalism jobs. And last month I came really close to landing one. I reached the final round of interviews for a role at a major media company, but didn’t end up getting the job.
I hadn’t been super sure about it the whole time. Plenty of things appealed to me, but it was also a beat I’ve never covered before. But as I had more conversations with people who know a little about the topic, I started to get more excited about the opportunity.
Yet, I didn’t have God’s assurance. Throughout the interview process, I kept praying and asking others for prayer that God would be clear about what He wanted for me. A friend at my church gave a brief sermon about a previous experience she’d had when God told her to turn down a job offer for a role she really wanted. After the service, I felt compelled to ask her to pray over my situation and she told me, “You know, what I learned after that experience was to ask God to not even allow a door to be opened if it’s not for me.” So that’s what we prayed.
After my final interview, the company told me they were wrapping up interviews and it was down to me and two other candidates. A week later, I still hadn’t heard from them but I had a feeling I would soon. I prayed one last time, “God I want your will for my life. Open the doors that you have for me and close the ones you do not.”
An hour after saying that prayer, I received an email from the company saying I didn’t get the job. I was a little disappointed because I’d begun to think of all the possibilities. I let myself feel sad, but I also didn’t feel too sad because I knew this was the answer I asked for.
Later that night, I was inspired to create something with my hands — a drawing to remind myself of the purpose, mission, and promises God has given me. I set up a notebook and markers, played some jazz, poured some wine, and wrote down a few words that centered my focus not on disappointment but on possibilities.
If there’s one thing God has shown me in times of uncertainty, it’s the importance of remembering the words He’s spoken to me. When nothing else in the world seems clear, His words are. I may not know how things will transpire, but I do know that He has a plan I can trust.
